A Weighty Issue

A long time ago I started this blog as a means to document my weight-loss journey.  Eventually it transformed into my running and then triathlon journey.  My life has followed so many different paths and changed directions in the last few years that I can't say that I know what I really want this blog to be.  It's likely that my lack of direction causes some to pass over my blog, but my blog is just that, MY blog.  I use this as a means to share my journey of whatever direction life takes me.  

Several years ago I was pushing 190 and probably 200 at one point.  I knew I needed to change and I found my motivation to lose almost 40 pounds.  I was down to 149 at one point.  That was the lowest weight I had ever been in my adult years.  I was so proud of myself.  Since then I have yo-yo'd between 150 and 170.  I desperately want to be in the 140's again.  I can't seem to find my motivation to keep working towards that.  I lose weight for 3-4 days and then have one bad day and spiral out of control for several days at a time or one bad day makes me regain everything I've lost.  

When I look back at pictures of myself, I can't believe I didn't notice sooner how large I had gotten.  Then I start thinking about the fact that I'm gaining back the weight I worked so hard to lose.  

When I see pictures of myself now, I still hate the way I look when I'm looking solely at that one picture, but when you compare the "then" and "now" I should just be happy with the now. 

But I want more!

I want to be the 140 I was working towards, I want to feel thin.  The wetsuit I have for triathlon is meant for someone that is NO bigger than 150.  I look like a sausage in casing and I can barely pull it up when I'm at 160 and I'm absolutely sure it's bursting at the seams.  I want the wetsuit to fit comfortably.  I want to look decent in my tri suit instead of always feeling like I am showing off my rolls.  I know that being lighter would mean that it would be easier to run and to bike and even to swim.  I want to experience that.  

It's time to refocus.

Team Endurance Fusion

It's been awhile since I've posted.  Mostly because work has been so incredibly busy that I haven't had to write.  I have tried to use my training time as MY time to focus on me.  I've been decently consistent and I'm ready to ramp it up... Now, where is SPRING?

The good news is that I did complete the Churchill's Half Marathon in October with a new PR!  Woooo  2:15.  I was so freaking excited.  It was a rough run because we started out with a misting rain and the course had a few hills, which I am not accustomed to.  I had done some hill training on my treadmill, but not as much as I thought I should have done.  Towards the end of the course the wind was kicking my butt.  I knew with about 2 miles to go that I had a good chance at hitting my PR.  When I hit the wind in the last mile I was struggling.  I kept going and made it under my previous PR of 2:17.  The BEST part of the whole event was that my parents, who live somewhat near the course, decided to come out to cheer me on.  This was an incredible surprise because they do not usually care to sit out and watch 100's of runners file past to look for me to pass by for 2 seconds.  On this particular day they stood out in the FREEZING cold and were there when I was needing some motivation.  Even more surprising is that they decided to drive to the finish line and were also there to cheer me across the finish line as well.  I can't explain to people who don't know my parents exactly how surprising this was or truly how much it meant to me.  I cried and cried hard when I saw them (both times!)  Awesome race.

I also completed the Santa hustle at Cedar Point with a new friend, Margo.  The race was her 1st 1/2 marathon and I decided to stick with her to keep her going.  We had a blast dancing and posing for pictures with the silly signs.  It was decently warm and there was no snow or ice to speak of!

Now on to the BEST news of all.  I have been cycling (on a trainer) with a group of triathletes and a coach who decided to start her own team.  I applied and tonight I received an email with this heading:

I'm so excited to be part of a team and especially because I can learn from others who work hard and yet share the passion for helping other newer athletes.  Our team is also supported by some awesome sponsors:

Cycle Werks

West Suburban Animal Hospital

Rudy Project

Boom! Nutrition

Infinit Nutrition

Xterra Wetsuits

Zensah Compression

I can wait to get the Triathlon season started.  I can't wait share my season with everyone else.  It's going to be an amazing year.