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Monday, December 31, 2012

In all my glory!

As embarrassing as this is, I'm going to post my BEFORE pictures so that I can say there will be a during and an AFTER.  I can't believe how gross my stomach area is.  Even my back has rolls.

 I guess those of us who need to lose weight need to start some place.  I hope this eventually is inspiration to all of you.

Yes, tonight is New Year's Eve.  I'm staying home and I will probably be in bed by 12:01pm  The only reason I'm staying up is because my oldest thinks it's important.  Tomorrow (or tonight at midnight) it officially becomes her 1/2 birthday.   Because her birthday falls in July, she has to celebrate her 1/2 birthday at school (which ALSO falls during winter break!)  Either way, she thinks it's important and we have to stay up until 12:01 to celebrate the new year and her 1/2!

Due to my child's 1/2 birthday, I have been charged with making her "birthday treat" for school.  YAY!  (*Please sense my sarcasm!)   Lucky me, she has decide that she wants HELLO KITTY Cake Pops.  Oh JOY!  Let me tell you... I'm not a great baker and I'm even less of a cake pop maker!  Tonight was my second go-round attempt.  Lets hope all the trials get eaten before my new life officially starts at 12:01am.  :)

They didn't turn out that horrible:

They sure look more appealing than the pictures above!!!  

We do need to find a smaller candy for the nose, but other than that they are pretty good for me.   For those who aren't dieting yet... the cake is RED VELVET.  My favorite!  YUM.  

I hope you are all drinking some delicious calories tonight and enjoying the last evening of 2012.  

Tomorrow is a NEW day and a NEW me!

Tomorrow is THE DAY!

It probably sounds like any other time I try to start.... saying that tomorrow is the day.  It's easy to say that tomorrow is the day.  However, I'm very much a mental prep type person.  I need to be prepared! I could never start a diet on a Sunday... because, well Monday is the start of week.  Too bad Jan 1st isn't on a Monday!  However, since I'm on break, I can handle the Tuesday start because I don't have a routine to stick to.  January 1st the the START of something new.  Even my horoscope says that 2013 is the year to build the new me.  I'm sure I sound kind of OCD, but I really need to be in the right place mentally or it will not happen.

A Facebook post by a friend who has had Lymphoma 4 times reminded me that I should be thankful for the days I have ahead of me and I should take care of the body I have because it's the only one God gave me.  This friend was told a few months ago that there was nothing else the doctors or medicine could do for her.  She is a prime example of a positive attitude.  She believes in living life to the fullest and even on her "not so good days," she tries to make the best of it.  Through persistence and patience, she was called to be part of a new drug trial and starts in 2 days.  To have been treated for Lymphoma and been in remission 3 times already, I can only imagine that the frustration of hearing she has relapsed once again and then to be told the doctors can't help her.  She is hopeful that the new treatment will help her gain a 4th remission.  HER post is what inspires me.  Isn't that crazy?  Shouldn't it be the other way around?  It reminds me of the quote:

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

Isn't that the truth?  Why do we wait until we have no choice though?  Why not prove myself now?

So, tomorrow is the day.  MY DAY!  My day to be strong, suck it up and move forward.  

I'm hoping tonight to take my "Before" photos and to post them here.  Look forward to those!!!  They are going to be Horrendous! In fact, they may help curb your appetite.  

Wishing you all a SAFE NYE!


Saturday, December 29, 2012

Starting Over

As the year comes to an end I realize that I have to start over once again.  I hate to admit this, but of course I'm back up to one of my highest weights.  I feel horrible about myself and I am not exercising.  I was doing so well with running.  I ran my first half marathon with TnT in September and I finished much faster than my goal time.

I was not losing much weight because I was still eating horribly.  I wanted so badly to lose my extra weight, but I just got so stressed that I gave up.  I gave up!

Two weeks ago I ran my second half marathon on very little training.  I made it.  It wasn't fast and it hurt, but I made it.  I was only running about 10-15 miles a week for training...sometimes much less.

The excuse I started this blog with is now a year old and I don't really think I can use the excuse anymore.  (See left picture!)

I have been reading some of the blogs that inspire me and the words that are written are SO true.  They say it better than I can, so I'm just going to post a few links.

One of my favorites is: Ben Does Life.  He just published a book about his weight loss journey and yet he is so honest about his struggles of currently not being active and as healthy as he would like.  His words could have come out of my mouth!

Another very inspiring blog is:  See Mom Run Far.  Erin is a mom to 12 (biological and adopted children combined) and she has lost over 80 pounds and has gone from non-runner to wanting to go to the 2016 olympic trials.

So, once again I'm going to start.  I have to admit that I feel ashamed that I have to start over, but so many of us have been on this journey and very few people have figured it all out on their first shot.  In fact, I can bet that anyone who has had more than 30 pounds to lose has had at least a few slip-ups or start overs along the way.  While it's not easy, it's expected and it's ok.

What's my plan?  I'm setting a few goals for myself.  These are NOT resolutions.  This is what I plan to accomplish in 2013:

1.  Lose 45 pounds (Current weight: 190, goal weight 145)
2.  Run another 1/2 marathon
3.  Run a 5K in under 32 minutes
4.  Complete in a sprint triathlon
5.  Join Team Toledo Triathlon club
6.  Keep up with my blog (at least 2 posts a week!)

These goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely!  (SMART)

So here we go!


Friday, April 27, 2012

All that's New with Me

So I know it's been awhile since I have written, but honestly I just needed to catch up with life and get ahold of myself.  There has been so much "good" happen and a few "bad" things, so here is the run down.

I'm SO excited to tell you that I joined Team in Training (TnT) and I will be raising $1250 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and in the process training for the Akron 1/2 Marathon.

I will be running a 1/2 MARATHON!!  I never in a million years thought I'd say that, but I decided it's now or never.

I bought a NEW treadmill and I have used it when the weather has been less than favorable- which has been often lately.  It was so nice for a few weeks and now we are getting cold, wet, windy days.  I have been trying to up my miles.

This Sunday I will run a group run with other TnT members.  It will be my first ever group run.  I am very excited.

So, now for the not so good.  My boss and I have not seen eye to eye lately and have been butting heads. I am frustrated and ready to leave my job because of it.  I hate feeling that way and I would have resigned if I wasn't the one making most of the money in my family.  I am just frustrated that we don't have the same goals and views in our line of work and we can't seem to agree to disagree.  The one person who seemed to keep us all kosher has just resigned for a different job.  It makes me sad because he was a friend and also a buffer between the boss and the rest of us.  Things will just not be the same and quite honestly I am sure it will only get worse from here.  I'm stressed about it and I'm just worried about the future.

Today when the boss and I had it out over the phone I eventually wore down and just let him vent.  After he was done I hung up and immediately had the thought that I couldn't wait to get home to run out my frustration.  I was so startled by my thoughts!  I want to RUN out my frustrations????  WHAT???  Before I would have grabbed a bunch of food and gobbled it up.  Now I am turning to running?  I'm so excited about this happening.  So you see- Something good came from something bad.

There- I made lemonade with the lemons!

So on to bigger and better things..... and hopefully more blogging in the future.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Still have Sickies!

 So oldest little is still sick.  When she got home from school she was sporting a 102 fever again.  I spent 2 hours of my time tonight to take her to urgent care because her doctor is away at a conference.  The urgent care doctor says it's a sinus infection and is close to, if not already, the beginning of pneumonia.  She was given some antibiotics and I have strict instructions to call our Doctor on Friday if she wasn't remarkably better.  She is still miserable...

....and apparently not impressed that I was taking a picture of her for this!

When I got home from urgent care and getting her medicine I got a big hug from middle little and realized that she felt warm too.  I took her temperature and low and behold, it was 102.3.  GREAT!  I should have taken her to urgent care too!

Thankfully she fell asleep with some Motrin and I can check her again tomorrow.  
Lovely, just lovely!

So far, the only one not sick in our house is little man....
He is as happy as can be!

Hubby and I both have sinus infections, but hopefully we can recover without meds.  We'll see.
I did manage to get a 2-mile run in tonight by pushing little man in a stroller (NOT my favorite way to run... it's not a jogging stroller!)  I felt very selfish because I made oldest little wait for me to finish my run and shower before I took her to see the doctor!  I just knew that I needed to get it in before going.  Urgent care isn't the quickest place to go and it would have been dark out before I got back.... I was right!  Call me a horrible mom, but she has been sick a full week, what's 30 more minutes!?

I know 2 miles isn't far, but I'm just starting back out and I don't want to hurt myself by starting out too fast.  I wanted to do 3, but I felt guilty and stopped 1 mile early so we could get to the doctor.  

Here is what I have run so far:
Saturday- 2 miles
Sunday- 3 miles
Monday- rest
Tuesday- 2 miles

I'm just happy to be back to it!

Oh, and I've lost a total of 12.2 pounds in addition to all of my baby weight!  Yay!!!

Well, it's time to make sure the sickies are well into dream land and that little man is ok.
Hopefully tomorrow will = less germs in our house!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Obese to Overweight

It doesn’t sound like that great of situation, but I just realized that I hit a milestone already- I went from a BMI categorized as Obese to a BMI that is just considered “overweight.”  Woooooooo!  I shouldn’t be excited about being overweight, but for some reason it just sounds better than being obese. 

I’m feeling thinner, but today my weight was up a pound.  I just have to keep in mind that the total overall loss is more important than the daily weights I see.  Yesterday I made some not so great choices and I’m sure that’s why.  Today I’m doing a bit better.  I am trying to find motivation.   My pants are really big on me and that makes me feel good, so I’m focusing on that. 

I’ve thought a lot about how I can work exercise into my day.  I already get up at 5:30am.  I work from 7am until 5:30pm.  By the time I get my 3 kids, get home, make dinner, bathe the kids, and get them ready for bed, I’M ready for bed at 9pm.  I just don’t know where to get my workout in.  I’d prefer to get up and get it done in the mornings, but 4:30 just seems so early, especially when out little man wakes up around 3am to have a bottle.  I think I’m going to try it this next week and see how I do with sleep. 

Too bad this weekend is a time change…spring forward one hour.  Booo!  That means it will be dark out until 7:30am.  I can’t run in the dark, so my workouts will have to be indoors.  I REALLY want to get back to running, but I don’t do the ‘mill.  I don’t have a good one and it hurts my legs.  I should suck it up and spend the $800 to get a nice one, but I’m too cheap!

I’ll update you on my goal of exercising more this week….

Monday, March 5, 2012

Anything else want to invade my house?

This crappy non-winter winter can shove it!  I'm so tired of illness!  With warm, non-winter like weather the germs have invaded our house like it's their job....well it probably is their job.  Four weeks ago we started with pinkeye.  That was finally taken care of.  Three weeks ago, my oldest came down with the flu on a Saturday afternoon.  It was a puke and poo fest.  She was better by Tuesday for school (Monday was a holiday).  The following weekend I got the flu on Sunday night.  I was miserable.  I was doing SO WELL on my diet and exercise plan.  I was decently better by Tuesday after taking Monday off.   I lost 6 pounds because my body voided itself of everything.  Too bad once I was feeling better I continued to eat everything I wanted.  BAD idea!  Now I need to start over.  This last weekend my oldest came home from school with a 102.2 fever on Friday night.  By saturday my two younger ones had it.  It was a miserable weekend for them all.  Oldest is better today and back to school,  I'm home with the younger ones.  The middle child is free of fever, but baby B is still fighting with a 100 degree fever.  BLAH!  GO AWAY SICKIES!

So, here I am, up a few pounds, not exercising, and trying to comfort my babies.  Life takes hold sometimes and brings me back to my reality and my excuses.  I'm a mom first and a person second sometimes.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and I can move forward.

Friday, February 24, 2012

On a Roll, but not a doughnut!

This is day 5 of my new start and I’m doing much better this time around.  A few things in my life have really made me think that NOW is the time to get my butt moving and get healthy.  Recently my Aunt unexpectedly passed away.  She wasn’t extremely close to me, but I did see her at most holidays.  She wasn’t a fit person and she didn’t care for doctors.  She was what my family would call a good German…. Meaning she loved her meat and potatoes!  She was young, or at least too young to pass in my mind.  After losing her I started to think about my own choices and how not only was I choosing my future, I was choosing a portion of my children’s future.  My aunt had 3 sons and two of them had already had children and the third one’s new wife is pregnant.  She will not be there for them to grow up.  Is that what I want for my children? 

This week I made a vow that I will learn to use self-talk to work through my temptations and my slips.  I have to say that I’m proud of a number of situations that  I have worked through.  I have stayed on track with my eating and I have made an effort to get in some good exercise.  Here is what I am proud of:

1.     Yesterday I had what I would normally consider slip ups.  I ate a mini chocolate bar in the afternoon and then a second one.   When I got home I had made dinner that would have put me over my calorie count for the day.  I first started to think that I would just give up.  That would have led me to feel guilty and then I probably would have done poorly the next day and the next, until I just stopped my plan all together.  I figured I was WAY over on my calories, so why count them.  However, I ended up telling myself that I needed to see what the real damage was.  I entered in all of the nutritional (or lack of) content into my app on my phone.  I realized I wasn’t over as long as I cut my dinner portion in ½ and then made a choice to forego the bread I had prepared.  I did that and I wasn’t really hungry after the ½ portion, so I knew I’d be ok.  I was so happy I didn’t just throw in the towel because when I do that, I end up eating a ton more calories because I view a slip-up as an end to that day’s counting instead of assessing the damage and moving on with better choices from that point forward.  This is the FIRST time I have ever gotten past that feeling of dread of being “bad”.   Two mini pieces of chocolate didn’t do me in and it’s OK to have them.

2.     I made time to workout in the evenings and I spoke to my hubby about my commitment to working out.   He has been fully supportive and has taken on the 3 children even when he was really ill just because he knew I needed my time to fulfill my exercise goal.  I chose to do Jillian’s 30 minute shred because it’s quick and yet a very effective workout for someone just starting out.  I know I’ll need to add more time later, but for now it’s great!

3.     This morning we had staff meetings and I am in charge of ordering the doughnuts for the entire staff.  This means that I have to deliver the boxes of yummy goodness to each building and then attend all of the meetings were the deliciousness is sitting waiting for my hand to grab one.  During past situations I would have had 2.  Today I told myself that I didn’t need one.  I talked myself through each meeting.  I told myself that they smelled good, but that I had already had breakfast and I wasn’t hungry.  Then I removed myself from the room as soon as the meeting was over.  It worked!  I didn’t have any and I was completely fine with it.  I don’t feel deprived or left out. 

It’s only been 5 days, but I am extremely proud of what has been happening.  I am a much better mom and wife when I feel good about my progress.  I’ll be weighing in on Sunday!


Monday, February 20, 2012

Starting again and again and again

So I hope that this is the first of many posts.  Today is day #1 of getting back on track.  Too many things have happened in the last month and sadly I just didn't stick to it.  I think I tried to start off to quickly with exercising after having my baby.  This week he is 9 weeks old and I am finally back into my daily schedule.  I think that will help tremendously.  I need a schedule to keep myself busy, but it also means that I need to work really hard to find ways to get my exercise in.  Yesterday I had a date with Billy....Billy Blanks the Taebo king.  I bought a new DVD with hand weights.  Today I took a short jog outside.  I know I need to get more in, but I want to start slowly and I just need to do a little even if it doesn't seem like I'm doing much.

I have several topics for this post, but frankly there is too much to include in one post.  Look for upcoming posts about the following:

1.  Running in COLD weather (at least I consider it cold!)
2.  Being allergic to running (hives and all)?
3.  Sticking to a plan and not giving up when you slip up
4.  Running shoes; do I really need a special fitting?
5.  Signing up for races
6.  Finding time for exercise
7.  What to eat when the family is eating out


Sunday, January 15, 2012

Will I Ever Find My Way?

I just wish I could figure this out.  I want so badly to lose weight and like what I see when I look at myself, but I just can't stick to it.  I don't know what I need to do to get my motivation to stick.  I start, last a few days, and then just give up.  I usually have some sort of slip up and then I just throw in the towel.  I KNOW that one slip up is not the end of the world and that I should just keep moving forward, but I don't think I have forced myself to really believe in that.  It's so hard for me to know what is rational and then yet I can't seem to get it through my head.  

I saw this on someone's blog today.  I was scanning random blogs, so I apologize that I don't know where I stole it from.  If you are reading this and it was yours, please tell me so I can give credit where it is due.

Why am I not important to myself?  I obviously always make excuses and stop working towards my goal.  Why can't I find the way?  What is it I am missing?  I think that I need a mind makeover before I can start my body makeover.  At least that's how I feel.  I need to believe in the process and believe in myself.  When I figure it out, I'll let you all know!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Baby Weight

Yesterday I achieved something great and I forgot to mention it!  I had my precious baby on 12/15/11.  He's a perfect baby.  He rarely cries and sleeps for 4 hour blocks of time at night and I constantly think to myself that going from 2 to 3 has been MUCH easier than I imagined.  In fact, dealing with the older two has been harder on me!  

So what have I done that is so important??  I have officially LOST all of the baby weight.  I can't say that my weight that I carry is "baby weight."  I was 180 before getting pregnant and yesterday I weighed in at 179.8.  YAY!  I have never had a problem losing that which I gain while pregnant.  I don't tend to gain a lot anyway.  I'm usually really sick and then towards the end I just don't feel like eating much.  After having my babies the weight seems to fall off because of breast feeding.  I can't say that it's easy to keep off once I stop breast feeding, but I'll take what I can get to start my progress!

So while some of you are throwing daggers at me for saying that it's "easy" to lose my baby weight....  please know that I have weight to lose yet that piled up LONG before I had any of my babies.  The most I ever gained with any pregnancy was 25 pounds.  This last pregnancy I gained 24 pounds.  Those are the "easy" pounds to lose. However, it's the 35 pounds I found in high school and college that I can't seem to lose!!!

That's my news and that's what I wanted to share.  At least I have a good start.  Now I just need to keep it going.  :)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Here's to a New Year and a New Me!

Happy 2012!  The kids, hubby, and I stayed up until exactly 12:01am.  Well, I'm pretty sure I was out after that, but the kids might have still been awake!  I'm not much for going out on NYE now that we have kids. It just means sitters, anxiety, and coming home late to find who knows what happened while we were gone! We don't have a reliable sitter that I would be ok leaving my 2 week old with anyway!  (or my 2 year old :)

So what does the new year mean to me?  Well, for one, it's a good time to start anew since I just had baby bean.  I am only 2.5 weeks past having him, so it's not like I can go out and run 5 miles, but it does give me a sense of "a new life."   I hope start walking and eventually running and I would like to start eating healthier.  I did buy the foods I need yesterday, now I just need to eat them!

I guess I should set some goals or write a resolution or something...isn't that what EVERYONE is doing?  Whatever....I'm not much for having a resolution, but I do want to leave some goals to reflect back on next year.  

1.  Lose 35 pounds over the year (the RIGHT way-exercising and eating better)
2.  Be active at least 4 days a week 
3.  Run four 5Ks this year
4.  Sign up for a 10K if I can find one in the area
5.  Look into training for a 1/2 marathon and eventually a full
6.  Buy a bike for myself
7.  Add in some strength training to my exercise to build muscles
8.  Get hubby to be healthier with me by exercising and cutting down on the bad foods
9.  Read 3 adult books that will help motivate me to meet my goals
10.  Keep my food diary up to date so that I can review it and be accountable

So there... I did it.  These are the same goals I seem to have each time I "start" over.  This time I want it to be the last time I start over.  I know there will be some slip ups or some times when I need to realign my thoughts and goals, but I want to say that I really put my heart into it and did it.  I have read so many blogs where the women are so inspirational.  Each one of them seem to have finally gotten their motivation to follow through after several starts.  I want this to be my time!