Eating to Train

My blog title is really what I WANT vs. what I am writing about.

I recently posed a question to my facebook groups asking for recommendations for books that may help give me that ah-ha moment that will spur me to eat better.  If anyone has a good suggestion- please share it!

My eating habits are dismal.  What does that mean?  Here is a quick rundown:

1.  I don't eat ANY veggies.  I mean 0, zip, zilch.  I even go so far as to pick out the green things in my pizza sauce.  Why?  I don't know.  I've tried to understand my issue.  I think it's mostly textures that cause me to not like them.  I've tried them.  I've tried cooking them, steaming them, covering them in cheese, etc.  I just can't.  I've even tried juicing, but I already had it in my mind that I don't do veggies.

2.  I don't care for most fruits.  I can eat apples- only if they are peeled (the texture thing- I hate peels!) I can eat some bananas- usually if they are covered in sugar and milk.  I do like strawberries- again, if they have sugar on them!  I just have a hard time eating straight fruits.  I don't crave them.

3.  I love eating weird combinations of horrible, horrible for me foods.  I love to have a bowl of brown sugar and then dip peanut butter in it.  I also melt chocolate chips and marshmallows together.  I'm really good at making fake cookie dough.  I love to mix brownie mix and eat it before baking.

4.  I don't enjoy large meals, or meals at all.  I'd be happy just eating the things I mentioned above all day.  I have done that before.  I just go from one thing to the next and never have a "decent" meal.

So, why?  Why is it so hard to break these habits?!  

I want so badly to be fit.  I've lost almost 35 pounds by counting calories since January 1st.  The horrible truth is that while I've lost weight, I did it by going hungry because I ate 1200 calories in peanut butter and sugar.  Trust me, those calories add up fast. If I could eat decent food, I'm sure I'd feel a lot more satisfaction.

I want to train for a 1/2 and eventually full ironman distance event.  I know I can't do that on chocolate marshmallows.  I need to get my diet corrected.  The fact is, I've gotten to a place where I'm no longer concerned about losing weight from my eating, I want to be FIT.  

This is AWESOME.  I never imagined I'd be in this place mentally.  I always thought that until I got to my goal weight that I would "diet" to lose pounds.  Now I'm to a place mentally where I know that I still have some to lose, but I'm more interested in being fit and healthy with muscles rather than counting every pound I lose.  A big Woooo Hoooo... but how?

This is what I ate today....and I feel BLAH!

Tano's and DQ!

I read a blog post from someone else and it really hit home.  When I was obese I used to hide my eating habits because I was embarrassed.  I hated when I had to be with thin co-workers who could have a bowl of candy in front of them and not touch it while I was grabbing piece after piece.  I hated being the "Eater" of the group.

Now that I thin-er and trying to count calories, those same people sneer and roll their eyes when I order water and push the chips and salsa away at our night out while they drink multiple beers or margaritas and down chips plus a meal.  I'm equally embarrassed having to be "on a diet" around them.  They just don't know how hard it is to be that person who needs to work at it.  

I always feel like I put a damper on everyone's evening or lunch date.  I am the party-pooper.  It's a horrible feeling.  I feel like I'm the black sheep no matter what side of the fence I'm on.

I guess if I'm going to be the black sheep, then I might as well learn how to eat to train for something they all think is crazy- an ironman!  

So, as I read back through this post, I realize that I have 2 issues grinding away at me.  I am tempted to go back and alter and focus the post, but I think these are two very important issues to explore for me.  More blog posts to follow on these topics.  

Anyone have any recommendations for either of these?!?  PLEASE?!