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Sunday, November 24, 2013

What Defines You?

I've had to do some soul searching these last few weeks.  Things have continued to be pretty chaotic.  I don't know if I get the "winter blues" like others claim, but I long for a sunny bike ride or even a swim outside.  I know these don't exist in Ohio during the winter months and that makes it even harder to get through all of this "stuff" going on.

I hate being in a funk!
Wish my funk looked more like this....

  The next Dr. appointment I have is on the 3rd of December with a sports orthopedic.  We'll see if that gets me anywhere closer to where I need to be.   I keep trying to tell myself to be patient, but if you are an athlete, you know how hard that is!

Personally, I think the foot thing has caused all of my other "funk" because my release, my stress relief, my "me" time is my running, swimming, and biking.  I feel so depressed without those things being part of my life.  It's no fun sitting at home stuffing my face with food.  I swear!

So why the soul searching?  Because I need to define who I am and who I want to be.  I want so badly to set my racing calendar for this next year, but I don't even know when I will be "healed" enough to be IN a race, let alone race!  No matter how long this takes, I do plan to be back for the summer...even if it's late summer.  :)  I'm a planner and without being able to plan my next season, I'm LOST.  I need to do some soul searching to remember who I am without my S/B/R obsessions.  What am I even without a race calendar?  I have to remind myself that there is a lot more to life than S/B/R.

I do have 3 beautiful children...

A husband (who hates pictures!)

I do love the life I have aside from my S/B/R time.  I just want to feel the connection to the sport even if I can't race.  None of my friends participate in triathlon, so I guess I should just settle for those that run and go cheer them on!  I applied to a  "Team" but so far have not heard back.  I think getting to know others that have the same passion as I have would help me to feel the connection I miss while I wait out this foot thing! 

I just keep reminding myself to ....

Just keep moving forward!  Even it it's not while swimming, biking, or running.  

How do you define yourself when you can't be defined as an athlete?

1 comment:

  1. I think I have some soul searching to do as well. Its hard for me to even know who I am apart from being a wife and a mom.