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Saturday, May 25, 2013

Just Not Feeling IT

I wish I has something special to say or something really great to report.  The truth is, I'm a bit down and feeling out.  These last few days I feel like I have a reservation for Pity- Party of 1.  I need to snap out of it a move forward.  While I hate having a Debbie Downer post for those that do follow me, I remembered WHY I started this blog.  My blog is just that- MINE.  Waaaaayyy back when I stated I got a few rude comments about the fact that my blog had no focus.  My posts weren't always about running or my posts weren't all about my weight loss or gain, my posts were never on the same topic.  One person told me I'd never keep readers if I wasn't focused.  I never responded to that person, but what I wanted to say was, "SO WHAT!"  So what.  This blog is for ME.  I started this blog to express my feelings about life because I felt like writing was one way for me to reflect on all things ME.  Sometimes I just needed to vent without bringing my family into it.  Sometimes I need to boast and be proud of what I have accomplished without making other in my life feel like all I do is talk about myself.  My blog is just that- My Blog.  This is the real me and this is my place to let it all out.  This is my therapy.

So why do I feel lost?  Why is it that I'm needing to have a pity party?  I just don't know.  I have gone off my diet.  I gained about 5 pounds (though I know those are the easy pounds to lose- bloat and water retention.) and I just can't seem to find my exercise groove.  I have gone on a few runs and each time I have a plan and I get a mile or two into the run and all I want to do is quit because it hurts or I feel sick.

For the last 3 days I have started the day "on" my diet and with an exercise plan.  Each day I slowly lost the mojo to keep going and then started eating everything I could find.  TODAY will be different.  I need for it to be different.  I feel like writing it out here will help me to make it different.

Today I will find time to get my bike outside and ride.  Yesterday I did get a 4 mile run in.  It was hard and it hurt, but I did it.  Today I want to ride and run.  Tomorrow I want to run and ride some more.  I can't swim this weekend because the pool is closed, but darn it, I will do something!!!  My husband had surgery yesterday and I can't leave the kids alone with him so it's going to be hard.  I have to wait until little one is sleeping, but I WILL make it work.

I have 3 weeks until my first TRI.  I must get my butt in gear!  I don't know what my deal is, but I have to get out of this funk!  Anyone else get into a funk and find some way to snap themselves out of it??  I need some motivation.


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